Dumb Diners

Adios winter, spring is finally here because everything has turned yellow. It really is a great time of year in North Carolina because it’s in the 70’s during the day and the humidity of summer hasn’t arrived yet. Plus it’s great patio weather. Paddy O’Beers anyone? So the other day before work I was just scrolling through Facebook and stumbled upon some Thrillist articles. Those and BuzzFeed are a great way to waste an hour of your life. One that particularly caught my attention was https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/the-44-worst-people-in-every-restaurant. Obviously I have a few more additions to the list.

People who won’t make room for you at the bar

So you’re the couple sitting in the middle of a bar with one open seat next to you on either side. A little common courtesy please and move down one seat mmmkay?

Those who don’t think reservations are necessary

You and 10 people walk into a restaurant during peak hours without a reso and expect no wait? Umm, what planet are you from, Johnston Co.? There is this thing called OpenTable FYI.

Same side sitters

It’s obvious you are together; we just don’t need to see you hold hands as you feed each other and put it on Snapchat.

Yelpers

Thank you for letting me you know you’re a Yelper, we’ll take extra care of your food and drinks. We also look forward to seeing your shitty amateur pictures and review on Yelp. You’re opinion really matters to us.

Guests oblivious to closing hours

The lights are turned up, the kitchen is drinking at the bar, and the chairs are slowly being placed on the tables. Are you guys closing? No ma’am, take your time and finish your tenth glass of water.

Samplers

It’s like they have never been in a restaurant and bar before. Can I try a sample of all your beers on tap? The soup of the day?  Can I try a little bit first to see if I like it? How spicy is the spicy wing sauce? Can you bring me a little ramekin to taste it?

Seat yourselfer

Oh, we’ll just sit anywhere we want. This table wasn’t reserved for anything right? Never mind the fact the table hasn’t even been bussed yet. Amateur hour I tell you.

To-go box abuser

Do you really want to take the basket of bread home with you? Do you really need a box for that one morsel of steak left?

Next week I’m off to New Orleans for French Quarter Fest, so stay tuned to my next post about all my ensuing shenanigans in the Crescent City. Cheers foodies!

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